Transformation Starts with Action
To find the answers, you need to know the problem. Most people don’t know the problem.
Most people think the problem is the food, the alcohol, the procrastination, the lack of willpower or determination, the laziness. But these are not the problems—they are the coping mechanisms, the comfort from discomfort.
If we take one step back, we can see that the problem might be the thoughts and feelings we attribute to circumstances. This is a fair assessment because thoughts and feelings are indeed the cause of all psychological suffering. However, we still haven’t landed on the real problem.
Before we unpick this, I’d like to share how I came to realise the importance of knowing the true “problem.” Are you familiar with The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams? In the book, a group of super-intelligent beings develop “Deep Thought”, a supercomputer designed to calculate the answer to the ultimate question of life. After 7.5 million years, the computer finally reveals the answer: 42. The problem? Nobody knew the question.
This got me thinking. We can find endless answers to what we think are our problems, but until we know the real problem, the right question to ask, we will spend lifetimes trying to work it out.
So let’s unpick this…
It’s widely recognised in psychology that all psychological suffering is caused by thoughts and feelings. You might disagree when you first hear this, but think about it. Circumstances themselves have no inherent impact, it’s our response to them that carries significance. Even physical pain, though real, is amplified by the thoughts and feelings we attach to it.
For example, after my recent foot surgery, I could choose to focus on the pain: What if it never goes away? What if I can’t run as far as I used to? Or I could acknowledge that my feet are sore, thank them for the hundreds of thousands of miles they’ve carried me, and tell them, We’ll be just fine.
Or let’s revisit March 2020, when COVID halted worldwide travel, putting our travel business in serious financial difficulty. We could have suffered by filling our heads with Why is this happening? This is wrong. The decisions being made are unfair. What if the borders don’t open for 12 months? What if we run out of money and have to close the company? Or we could focus on pivoting the business, finding ways to create value, investing in learning new skills, and helping our community.
You get the drift.
It’s the thoughts and feelings we create that cause the suffering—not life itself. When we don’t process these thoughts and feelings, we repress, suppress, vent, or escape from them. They get stuck in us as energy, leading to disease, dysfunction, and even more suffering.
So we seek solutions. We look for help. We look for answers. Some find temporary relief. Some try a holistic approach—yoga, sound healing, acupuncture, meditation, breathwork, exercise and these can help a great deal. Others turn to medication. Some fall into addiction.
So what’s the answer? How do we end the suffering?
To find the answers, we need to know what question to ask, we need to know the actual problem. People have many problems, all unique, yet the patterns are the same. And underlying all of it is the truth: we have forgotten who we really are.
We misidentify ourselves as separate, finite selves, overlooking that we are infinite, powerful beings – human beings, beings having a human experience. Perceiving ourselves to be limited, we don’t feel safe, we don’t feel equipped to deal with life, we feel isolated.
So, the problem is misidentification and the question to ask is “who am I”.
This is not about spirituality or religion, and you don’t need to believe me. I invite you to conduct your own investigation. Because until you know who you really are, no amount of therapy, therapeutics, medication, or hedonism will satisfy you or end your suffering.
Once you discover who you really are, you finally understand what the problem has been all along. From there, you learn new ways to navigate this human experience. You gently align with your true nature, your purpose. You find yourself suffering less and less. Your family and friends start to notice a difference. You light up from the inside. You feel energised. People and circumstances show up serendipitously at the right time to support and inspire you.
If you’re wondering where to begin this investigation, I invite you to read my book, Turbulence: Master the Five Mind Tools of A.T.L.A.S. to Navigate the Storm. We begin with the problem, giving you an anchor, and move on from there—re-mapping your life toward freedom and fulfilment.
